• Tori The Double Pisces

Next Please, Saturn Retrograde, 2018

As if a Saturn Return isn't bad enough.

I know, I'm behind the times. It's hard to keep up with all of the tomfoolery going on in the galaxy. I SWEAR Uranus in Taurus is coming to a blog to you soon. But in the meantime, it may have already started, but it's never too late to bitch about Saturn Retrograde.

So on 4/17 Saturn was in its home sign of Capricorn at 9 degrees, and it will creep on backwards until 9/6 of this year where it'll hit 2 degrees Capricorn, go direct, and then release up from our misery.

So let's look up the tally; it's not enough that Chiron has opened up a can of whoop ass on all of us, Pluto has us purging til we puke, and Jupiter has us getting fat and in rehab. And then here comes Saturn as the cherry on the cake of this astro-f*ck, coming around to teach us all life lessons whether we like it or not.

Because that's what Saturn does, it teaches.

If you've already learned your lessons, it's relatively painless. It'll simply be a refresher course for you. If you're a dumba$$ like me who didn't get it during their Saturn Return... (You know not what a Saturn Return is? Remember about ages 28-31 and you were like "Why is my life hell?" That was it. Are you under the age of 28, you still have time to save yourself. Read books on Karma and The Law of Attraction while you still can.)

Anyway, yes, dumbass like yours truly who narrowly escaped my Saturn Return, this should definitely be a jolly good time. I'm sure I'll learn all sorts of neat things based of my karma. Saving animals? Good, points for me. Writing and sending embellished complaint letters for money by paying customers? That's going to sting. But I'll still do it. Your girl needs some coin.

The amazing Lynn Koiner makes a really good point about this whole ordeal, "You will slow down so you can strategize your next move and get rid of frustrating projects."

That's a pretty good way to look at things, and it would please Pluto as well, who has you telling off everyone up in here and throwing out all of your stuff.

Koiner also points out this bit to note, "Now is not a time to start a business." She goes on to say that you'll find for each step you take forward, you'll take two steps back.

I recently discovered Hellogiggles.com. Interesting stuff. I would check them out. They say that now is the time for soul searching, and that this is the time to plan those changes to make your life for the better.

But again, I thought that Pluto and Jupiter had that on lock as band aids to whatever it is that Chiron has in store for us. But now that Saturn has joined the party, it's just one big hoe-down where everyone is pretty much going to have to "mind themselves," as my wise, Taurus friend put it.

You know, sometimes it's cool to be shallow and vapid. Just ask Venus or Neptune.

But let's look at it from another vantage point. As one with Saturn rising, I'm naturally like "phhhht" to most things. Have I had more than my share of lessons to learn? I don't know. I don't concern myself in comparison to other people's lessons unless I'm invited in. Again, "Mind Yourself."

But I know I did not learn my lessons over the past few years, and though I'll have help, from someone with a Capricorn moon, Capricorn Rising, and my Capricorn laden husband, I still have walk the road myself and undo the damage that I have done. For me, Saturn will trine my Venus in Taurus and conjunct my Jupiter. Meaning, schooling won't be half a sucktackular as it could be. But soul searching I will be doing en masse, especially since Pluto has me working like a little bitch.

But I digress...

Capricorns the world over can breathe a sigh of relief. Saturn is home in its ruling sign of Capricorn, and all is right with their world again. Though it's retrograde, some Caps need to learn lessons, soul search, and be slapped in the face by karma. It's good for the soul, no pun. Caps in particular can get that tweak or jump start that they needed to get moving to make their lives all the better. And if anyone in the Zodiac needs a break from all of the social climbing and sarcasm, is closeted, sensitive Capricorn.

Also, something else to point out that all of you folk in early Cancer will now have a Sun-Saturn opposition. May I suggest taking this time to look at yourself, your habits, and why you always wind up in the same situation, and perhaps changing your behavior so that you are not always a perpetual victim? Just a thought said with love. It's hard to be a Cancer enough as it is. Now Saturn is across from you yelling "Self Reflect!" Cancer is in the sand, hiding from the world and the next person to screw them over, which is pretty much everyone.

Be that as it may, sharpen your pencil and bust out your comp book, because Saturn Rx is here to school you, be it for better or worse, good or bad, or just for the hell of it. It doesn't have to be a nightmare, despite my rantings that it will be. It could simply be learning how to navigate your way through little things that frustrate you to confronting people that seem unconfrontable. See. I made up another word. I love my Mercury.

Cliff Notes are not allowed in Saturn's Classroom. Just you, the brutal truth, and the lessons to be learned. So grin and bare it. It'll pretty much only ruin your summer. But if you learn what Saturn is trying to teach you, your holidays will be lovely, and you will be ed-ju-ma-kay-ted. S-M-R-T, SMART, just the way Saturn likes all of his pupils.

In what way do you think Saturn is going to teach you or hand you karma? If you care to share, post in comments below.

And now, to end on a high note, for no reason at all, here's a Cat Meme...

*Saturn Pic: Google/Shutterstock

*Lynn Koiner: www.lynnkoiner.com

*The Astrology King: He's in here by accident but I believe it's www.theastrologyking.com

*Hellogiggles: www.hellogiggles.com

*Various Memes: Google Images (Tumblr, Icanhasacheeseburger, me.me)

195 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

© 2023 by Name of Site. Proudly created with Wix.com