• Tori The Double Pisces

Pluto Retrograde 2018, Know Thyself

Updated: Apr 25, 2018

First of all, I know it's still Mercury Retrograde Shadowpoint. What's that? It's basically the two weeks after Mercury Rx that are still like Mercury Rx even though technically they are not a proper Mercury Rx.

Most of you have never seen this movie before.

And we also chatted about Jupiter Rx, which is about two posts below if you missed that. That party started in early April and goes on until July 10th. Normally, Jupiter expands. With Retrograde, it retracts. So people that find themselves trying to break bad habits or living in over excess will find themselves in an intervention with Grandma reading a letter about how your massive cocaine use is ruining Thanksgiving dinner and you're not the person you used to be. Of course not. You're a coke fiend. But Jupiter Rx will come along and say "enough already," and if you work the Jupiter Rx detox program, you get go to rehab and come out someone Grandma can be proud of. (Just for one extreme example.)

But now we got some serious shit on our hands. Pluto Retrograde.

And some of you may be thinking...

Ok, that's according to NASA. Unless they've changed their minds on that. I'm too lazy to Google.

Well...maybe I should. BRB.

It's a "Dwarf Planet," says NASA. It doesn't get the total boot because it has moons.

Anyway, Pluto is going Retrograde from April 22-September 30, 2018. To add a little more gas on this fire, Pluto is in Capricorn. So all of the Capricorns that just went through Pluto's super power of transformation, and loved it so, has the pleasure of going through it all over again. The Goats get the brunt, yes. But the rest of us are all not free and clear. Depending on the aspects of your chart, which I'm happy to check for you, Pluto may be gunning for your ass too. Which means one or both of two things:

Most of y'all haven't seen this movie either. Damn shame. It's genius.

...And then there's....

If this is you, Pluto will fix this.

According to the ever wise Lynn Koiner, who you can enjoy at www.lynnKoiner.com, "Pluto affects inner activity, such as psychological patterns that affect the physical body."

There's a couple of ways to take this. I always think of Pluto as being the zodiac's eyes to the window of the soul. No one can pick you apart and see you raw like Pluto. I know I said Chiron in Aries may do that. But the King of seeing you stripped and exposed for everything that you are and stand for is Pluto. I would assume that with a Retrograde, insight is distorted, and people see what they want to see, or see things that aren't there. So be clear on what it is that you're looking for and in who in the first place. Also don't put too much stock on those who say and never do, no matter how much they promise. There's a chance that Jupiter Rx may get them to move. But Pluto peers through souls to see true colors, even during Retrograde. They ain't doin' shit.

To Lynn Coiners point, I would say that if you think you're sick, dumb, fat, high, going to get fired, on your way to your own personal doom and what have you, Pluto Rx promises to deliver on whatever it is that your brain is manifesting. So bust out The Secret and start working on your Law of Attraction skills. Because if you think you're going to get cooties, Pluto Rx will be sure that you get the cooties that you so desire. If you vow to drop 10 pounds and rock a bikini around the beach this summer even though you had to get that bikini from Torrid and it has a tummy guard, get on Noom on your phone and drop those ten pounds. Pluto Rx isn't all bad, and it will champion your efforts to succeed just as it will to fail.

Next up, THE PURGE. If you thought Jupiter Rx would help you dispose of what's unneeded, it's power pales in comparison to the behemoth ability to toss and regenerate like Pluto. During Retrograde, if you let it, Pluto will get rid of all sorts of funky shit you've been trying to lose, like forever gone. Shit like...

* Weight

* Papers

* Clutter

* Clothes that don't fit

* That car that's 15 years old. Yes, it's time to suck it and make a car payment for four years. In Germany they wouldn't even let you drive that thing on the street.

* Your soon to be ex

* Your soon to be ex biffle

* That employee/coworker that serves no purpose

* Other various assholes too numerous to mention

* Dying electronics. Eff the shadow point, just go get a new phone. They have red ones now.

* Your land line. You still have that because?

* Grudges that serve no purpose other than to feel the hate and have someone to talk about over coffee with some poor person who has already heard your bullshit for the 100th time. You make it to her Pluto Purge List.

* Your crappy attitude about whatever it is in your life that's causing you drama. Let Pluto Rx work its magic. Let it go to the universe and Pluto will do what it does best, and pull you up so you rise from the ashes as a new soul, with a new purpose, so you rule and everyone knows it. It may be a painful and messy process. But trust me. Worth it.

So it'll prove to be an interesting summer with Jupiter chillin', Chiron making grown adults feel like helpless children, and now Pluto here to transform what you though was untransformable. Is that a word? I don't know. I have Chiron conjunct Mercury in Aries so anything goes with me. There's other planets about to move their asses backwards as well, and you know I'll be on it. Though, I plan to enlighten you all about the phenom that is Uranus in Taurus. If you're a Taurus, or have a lot of Taurus, you'll be either liberated or horrified. Plus, it's opposed to Jupiter in Scorpio, so we'll talk more about what that picture will look like later. (Yikes, Yo!)

For now, again, and I can't say it enough, it is pointless to fight Pluto Retrograde. Pluto wins without being Rx, and it'll win Retrograde too. So make the best of it and take this time to better yourself so the holidays won't be a screaming nightmare for the first time in years. Purge at your pleasure. Manifest a million dollars. It doesn't hurt to try. Maybe you'll get that million? Maybe you'll just get a nice raise. But don't think dirty, like that zit on your cheek is herpes, because Pluto Rx is here to deliver, and you will get what you ask for. Or more so, deserve.

By the way, how do you think Pluto Retrograde is going to affect you? What will you manifest? What will you purge? I'd love to know in the comments.

Rick and Morty Clips: Adult Swim

Lynn Koiner at www.lynnKoiner.com

Matrix Meme with Joey Pants: The internet somewhere

Pulp Fiction Meme with Samuel L. Jackson: I've seen that everywhere. No clue where it's from.

Other various pics and memes: google.com

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