• Tori The Double Pisces

Venus Retrograde; 40 Days of Fun

Updated: Oct 31, 2018

So on October 15, 2018 Venus starts at 10 Scorpio and does an Electric Slide back to 25 Libra by November 16, 2018. It doesn’t seem like that long of a process. Venus doesn’t seem like a bid deal, like Mercury going Retrograde every five minutes and the world stopping. It couldn’t possibly do any damage. It’s Venus…all pretty and peaceful.

Like a pissed off Taurus, right? All pretty and peaceful while it demolishes everything in its path, all Venus ruled.

I know my posts can be seen a pessimistic. I can’t help that. I have Saturn rising. But before I dive into my tirade of pant wetting aspects of Venus Rx, here are some of the cool things about it…

  • Some say it’s a good time to remodel your home. (Some also disagree with that sentiment.)

  • It has been said that Venus Rx is a Garage Sale Junkies/Resellers/Flippers paradise, with these fine folks finding bargain after bargain at bargain prices with their sellers none the wiser of the worth of the item they are pretty much giving away. So be an eBay baller and make that low ball offer.

  • Cheaters get caught. I know it sounds bad, but in the long run, it’s good. Throw out the trash.

And now, what you came here for, the inevitable pant wetting and warning of how your life will fall apart during Venus Rx.

The Real Real misses me. :(

At least my life will fall apart, with my Venus in Taurus and Taurus rising. One shouldn’t buy luxury items of any kind. No car, no bags, no shoes, no clothes, no jewelry, no make up, no cookware, no cashmere sweaters for your dog. Nothing. Don’t try to be slick and go to Tradesey and buy your luxury goods there thinking you’re outsmarting the universe by buying pre-owned. Louis Vuitton is Louis Vuitton and you will not get the quality you expect for the item and you will have over paid for it as well. So you found a LV Petite Matis and it’s $1500 so you jump on it because it’s a “bargain.” Well, now it’s November 18th, and your bag is now $1000. Sucks to be you. Imagine the matching wallet you could have had if you had faith and held out for a couple of weeks. Oh, the peril!

Yes, this is pretty much my worst nightmare come true. That and living out the lyrics to the song Habits by Tove Lo.

Nope. It’s TJ Maxx, Forever 21, Ross, and any store with the word “Dollar” in it for us shopping addicts. I think Target is safe though, which is a comforting thought during these troubled times.

But for those in it for love. I’m so sorry. This is not the retrograde for you.

You may want to sit this out like you would for Lent and give it up. A happy Venus brings love and beauty. An unhappy, retrograding one brings on soap opera crap you really just don’t have time for. Things like…

  • Old lovers coming back. There’s a reason why they’re in your past, and should stay there.

  • Friends with Benefits gets messy, stalkery, confusing, and the benefits stop benefiting you.

  • Relationships on life support get the plug pulled.

  • Internet dating; just say no. Nay Nay.

  • Are you about to start a relationship? Again, nay nay. Be friends for 40 more days, you can do it. Not friends with benefits. Friends that Face Time so they stay out of trouble.

Or Heroes.

And I had mentioned Beauty as well…

  • Don’t get your hair did in any drastic manner. A trim, that’s cool. Color and chop off two inches? You’ll be sobbing in your car in the salon parking lot not ten minutes after you paid the $200 bill for your new ‘do.

  • Cosmetic Surgery. Nonononononononnono. No.

Actually, I think that’s about it. Shopping and Love is phhhtttt but you can redo your house and bargain hunt. A fair trade, some would say. Skip the botox and you’re all good. See, painless, minus the purse.

At least it's cool for me to shop there!

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